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Note: Larger version HERE because you're into this. Tricked: You just got it. "UGH -- GOD I HATE YOU SOMETIMES, GW!" Yeah well I hate you back double so there. Circle, circle, dot, dot, now my nips can shoot laserbeams or whatever. pokemon: manly cosplay [epizponyz] via Pokemon Cosplay of the Day [geeks.thedailywh.at] Thanks to Brian, who pointed out Misty has a stuffed animal for a wiener. Good eyes.... -
Uh, is that Bumblebee hiding in the corner? I put functional in quotations because the boot-jets don't work, it won't stop a single bullet (or rock), and the arc reactor is just a bunch of LEDs. Oh, and the briefcase looks like a homemade bomb. Besides that though, totally legit. The suit consists of 384 individual pieces of armor, over 4,000 LEGO Technix pieces and took more than 1,200...
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This is a line of $32 Pac-Man dresses from 80'sTees. Why they didn't bother making a Ms. Pac-Man version is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do with BLATANT SEXISM. Proud Don Draper would be proud. Also, what's up with the model? I feel like ol' Demoneyes McSoulstealer is trying to cast a spell on me. No? Something behind me? Whew. Product Site via Sexy Pac-Man...
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This is a Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 covered in a Star Wars themed vinyl wrap for the Goldrush Rally 3 from Denver to Los Angeles. IT IS NON-PERMANENT. So if you want to complain about ruining a lambo you can only complain about ruining one TEMPORARILY. However, it does have both the Galactic Republic and Jedi Order insignias on the hood so OMG NURDRAAAAAGE BESIDES WHAT THE HELL KINDA NON-CANON...
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The FPSRussia guy is back, this time shooting a rooty tooty fresh'n fruity fully automatic 40mm machine gun. On a 1-to-10 scale of pews, this thing is like a 14. Which, not to brag or anything, is the same age I saw my first tit. Sure it was scrambled on Cinemax and I'm pretty sure the kid whose slumber party I was at was masturbating in his sleeping bag,...
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Sorry, silver body paint sold separately. I'm sure bra holsters have existed forever. It just seems like something somebody would have invented a long time ago. Probably a dude. I can see it now: "Mmmm, titties and guns -- I need to make that happen." Anyway, the Flashbang Bra Holster. Fire in the hole areola! It is currently only sold on ebay. The holster costs $40 and is available...
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This is a little gallery of video game box-art reimagined with God of War's Kratos as the protagonist. They're all part of a user-submitted Photoshop contest from some Hungarian video game blog and surprisingly well conceived. Not unlike my son. JK JK -- total accident. Hit the jump for a bunch more of my favorites, and a link to the original contest with a whole bunch more....
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This is baby Magneto as imagined by artist Victor Hugo in the style of a Pixar movie (read: Toy Story). He looks...evil. Like the kind of kid your mom would make you go play with even though you don't like him and he's always doing really creepy shit like pulling the legs off bugs. *shivers* There was one of those in my neighborhood too. Pretty sure he's a serial...
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These are two Buzz Lightyear and Woody action figures crafted by toymaker/modder Luis Eduardo Vargas Montoya, who has a pretty sweet name. My name is Luis Eduardo Vargas Montoya -- you killed my fish when I went on vacation and were supposed to feed them, prepare to take me to the pet store. I'm not sure if they were modded from existing toys or molded from scratch, but they're...
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This is the best beer commercial ever (SET TO THE NIGHT RIDER THEME!) coming to us all the way from Hahn Brewery, Australia. It features an overview of their brewing process from beginning to end, which, from what I could gather, is almost identical to the preparation of my famous deviled eggs. Well, except with less drumming. That shit'll f*** a yolk up. Hit the jump for the very...
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You're never gonna fly if you don't spread your wings! Seen here mid-bellyflop, a beer thief prepares to shotgun two cases of Bud Light cans with his chest. HARDCORE, BRO! The incident happened around 6:37pm on Wednesday at the E-Z Food Store, located at 15 Acuff Road in Lake Wales Polk County Sheriff's detectives said the suspect got out of the front passenger side of a black Chevy Lumina,...
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To commemorate the royal wedding between Prince Humperdink and Buttercup, BrewDog is releasing a limited edition pale ale brewed with aphrodiacs/boner stimulators Viagra, chocolate, tiger peen and horny goat weed. Geez, I thought regular beer worked good enough. Allegedly three bottles is the equivalent of popping a single blue boner pill, which is hard to justify at £10.00 (~$16) a pop. You'd probably be better off just ordering from...
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Remember Telenoid R1, the teleconferencing robot that "recreates the physical presence of a remote user"? Well now the humanoid's creator is imagining miniature versions being used as cell phones. GTFO of here with that crazy-talk, nutjob! ...if Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro of Japan's Osaka University has his way, a miniature Telenoid that lets you "feel" the presence of the party on the other line could soon replace the cell phones...
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I'll trade you an iPad 3 for your liver. A 17-year old Chinese boy found a black-market organs dealer online willing to pay $3,400 for one of his kidneys, then had it removed to buy an iPhone and iPad. Ha -- and you thought you knew a stupid fanboy. Without telling his family of his plans, he traveled north from his home in the eastern Anhui province to a...
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This is Luna. "The sharp dresser?" No, that's Mr. T Fred Nikgohar, the CEO of RoboDynamics, the company responsible for Luna. Luna is the dog. Jk jk, it's the ridiculous looking robot. The dog looks more like a Brownie or Sandy. But that's not what I came to talk about, I came to talk about wearing sneakers with a f***ing suit Luna the useless personal robot. Ha, did I...
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Note: Uncensored pictures after the jump cannot be unseen. I wasn't going to post this because 1. I eat a lot of sushi and 2. it's f***ing disgusting and is gonna give me nightmares FO SHO, but I'm getting the tip so much I figured I might as well. Standards: mine are incredibly low. So yeah, a shark with a single eye in the middle of its head. What's...
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isplay: inline;"> Seen here looking like your wiener's worst DO NOT WANT nightmare, a scientist holds a petri dish containing a new strain of gonorrhea-causing bacteria that's antibiotic resistant. What the -- stop being so cavalier with that shit and put some f***ing gloves on! A July 8, 2011, report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention urged doctors to be on the lookout for Neisseria gonorrhoeae,...
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Um, all soda cans are spray cans if you shake them first. Because tilting a can back/not poking your eyes out with a straw takes skill and dexterity that today's youth are lacking, soda is now available in spray-cans. Think spray-cheese, but then think soda. Then think both of them together day after day and you'll understand why I look the way I do. *BELCH* It took a team...
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Sorry, silver body paint sold separately. I'm sure bra holsters have existed forever. It just seems like something somebody would have invented a long time ago. Probably a dude. I can see it now: "Mmmm, titties and guns -- I need to make that happen." Anyway, the Flashbang Bra Holster. Fire in the hole areola! It is currently only sold on ebay. The holster costs $40 and is available...
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Please, no Kurt Cobain jokes in the comments. Police raided a suspected gun-dealer's home in Luleå, Sweden, and found, among other things (possibly including unsafe sex-toys -- you never know), a homemade shotgun guitar. Or is it a guitar shotgun? Neither? Just shoddily crafted and not even a Stratocaster? Oh. The oddest of the assortment was the guitar you see here - with a double barrel shotgun inside the...
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Awh snap son -- is that peridot? August birthdays FTW! A New Orleans man was accidentally shot in the mouth (I suspect a pistol-whip gone wrong) by his brother after smoking his weed without asking (which, admittedly, is a pistol-whip worthy offense), but the bullet ricocheted off a gold tooth, leaving the man virtually unscathed. *trying to melt a roll of tin-foil in the microwave* The victim was sitting...
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Alien bacteria? Possibly. Noodle puking noodles? Probably. A NASA scientist who's dreamed of having sex with aliens since adolescence claims he's found FOSSILIZED ALIEN BACTERIA in a rare form of meteorite. This discovery may or may yes lend credit to the Scientologist belief that meteorites are Xenu's sperm, raining life down on planets like pissing off a highrise. Admittedly, I don't actually know if they believe that or not,...
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You know what the biggest problem with nightvision cameras is? They make your sex tape look like shit. If I wanted to see two green, googly-eyed aliens having sex I'd buy a telescope and point it at the moon (oh they're there). Enter the COLOR nightvision camera -- heralding a new age in nightvision sex videos. Please note: 20-minute shots of your b-hole still not cool. GET A TRIPOD,...
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Two nutjob astrophysicists are claiming a planet 4x the size of Jupiter (the current largest planet in the solar system) might be hiding in the Oort Cloud, a massive (1-light year in circumference) cloud of comets and fart particulate outside Pluto's orbit. Its orbit would be thousands of times further from the Sun than the Earth's - which could explain why it has so far remained undiscovered. Data which...
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You know what the problem with a lot of movies coming out is? THEY BLOW. They were poorly written, grossly over-marketed, and suck nards. Not because they aren't watched in seats that move. But has that stopped D-Box (D-Bag's cardboard older brother) from developing 'kinetic motion theater chairs' to jiggle your ass when there's an explosion on screen? Sadly, it did not. Per Roger Ebert, who was clearly paid...
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Would you drop $50 a month to see as many movies in theaters as you wanted? MoviePass is hoping you will! Me? I don't like going to the movies. Something about sitting in the dark with a bunch of strangers makes me uneasy. I'm always afraid the person behind me is gonna stab me in the back with a dirty needle. That or talk the whole time. Still in...
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This is a small series of conceptual neon signs by Twitterer/Tumblr'r Mr Whaite. Personally, I think the AT-AT one would look great in my rumpus room. Ha, rumpus room -- like I have a rumpus room! I live in a studio -- my kitchen and bathroom are practically the same. Get it? I pee in the sink and eat on the john. "You nasty!" Am I? *resting sub on...
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Wine: it makes you kiss all sloppy with your tongue and then the whole world spin until you wind up in bed without showering holding one hand against the wall and the other to the floor swearing to Dionysus you'll never drink again if you just don't puke. You'll pass out and not puke until the next morning after which you'll shake your fist at the heavens and claim...
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This is a Mario/Nintendo themed '91 Chevy Caprice lovingly designed by Sherod Grayer of Warner (NOT Baskin) Robins, Georgia. It's, uh, pretty awesome. The only thing that troubled me was the 'GAME OVER' embroidery on the backseat. I find that a little disconcerting. Are there secret ejector seats back there or something? Because if so there's no way in hell I'm ri-- SHOTGUN! Hit the jump for a bunch...
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This is the best beer commercial ever (SET TO THE NIGHT RIDER THEME!) coming to us all the way from Hahn Brewery, Australia. It features an overview of their brewing process from beginning to end, which, from what I could gather, is almost identical to the preparation of my famous deviled eggs. Well, except with less drumming. That shit'll f*** a yolk up. Hit the jump for the very...
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In other facts & figures news, Star Trek fanpage Subspace Comminque recently conducted a survey of 5,041 Trek-lovers to determine just now nuts they are about Tribble-based foreplay or whatever else ungodly things they're into. What do you mean you're setting your phaser to 'makeshift buttplug'? LET ME SEE THAT DIAL! 57% of the Trekkies who voted were female, suggesting there are more lady fans than guy fans [dons...
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These are parts 1 through 14 (10-minutes each for almost 2-hours 20-minutes of runtime) of a fan-made Star Wars documentary featuring all sorts of interesting facts, audio commentary from the cast and crew, alternative angles of scenes, etc. etc. It's called 'Star Wars Begins', and is NOT to be confused with 'Batman Begins', which is a movie about a superpowerless superhero, or "THE ROBO APOCALYPSE BEGINS!", which is what...
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Note: Don't take that picture at face value, click HERE to see the entire thing with a whole bunch more lady-mugs. The Face Research Website (not to be confused with my Fist Resear-- POW!) allows users to overlay photos of faces to get an "average" of what a number of combined faces looks like. This particular shot is the result of combining the faces of women from a certain...
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This is Geekologie Reader Greg's homemade Legend of Zelda mini-arcade. It has a Nintendo stuffed in the back. Originally Greg just sent me a video of the machine, which looks suspiciously like it was filmed in the middle of a seizure, so I convinced him to send me some pictures. A couple more of those and the video (complete with Ms. Pac-Man mini-arcade!) after the jump. Good lookin', Greg....
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That's right folks, today, February 21st, 2011 marks the 25th anniversary of everybody's favorite video game franchise. "Not mine, I hate those games." OH YEAH WELL I HATE YOUR FACE SO THERE. Such a f***ing Ganon. Including the original game's release on the Famicom Disk System in 1986 (for which it was a launch title), a total of 14 unique and "proper" Zelda games (excluding re-releases) have been published...
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Minecraft player Mike520 (who's an hour late to the stoner party) has gone and created a 10+ hour playable Zelda adventure in the world of Minecraft. It's called Zelda Adventure and features 8 dungeons, 20 different functional weapons, cinematic cutscenes, shops, collectables, secret areas and more. It's also about to feature me whippin' some baddie ass as soon as my download finishes. *whistling* 56.6k modems, amirite? "Tell me you're...
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This is a 4-minute video of a massive, multi-room sized Rube Goldberg machine that culminates in the taking of a man's portrait (God, just ask a stranger!). I couldn't really find a screencap that would do the machine justice, so it's best if you just watch the video and see for yourself. Feel free to skip around though, you don't have to watch the whole thing. But it is...
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Ninja Moped/Rymdreglage is back with another LEGO stop-motion featuring a bunch of classic 8-bit video games (worthwhile previous efforts HERE and HERE). That's a scene intro and some Castlevania action in the screencap there. After watching it twice I can't even imagine how many man-hours went into making these things. My guess is at least ten. Trillion! Too high? Okay, five trillion. "Do you even know what a trillion...
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Note: Click HERE for a larger version that's so awesome your retinas will melt and eyes explode. *POP!....POP!* There went mine! This is the most amazing Zelda-themed painting I've ever seen in my entire life and I've seen a lot because sometimes I type 'zelda painting' into Google and look at everything that comes up because I'M F***ING SICK LIKE THAT AND HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN GETTING BETTER. It...
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I watched this video a couple of times so needless to say I'm making this post from under the bed. It's allegedly a video of a ghost in a Singapore hotel's elevator (let it load and skip to 1:20 to see the goods). I'm sure it's fake as all hell. Right? It's fake right? Good, because you know ghosts scare the crap out of me. Seriously, I've got a...
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This is a video demonstration of CryEngine 3, the newest gaming-engine from Crytec (the makers of Crysis -- DERDER!). The screenshots there don't really do it justice, but suffice it to say the next generation of video game titties are gonna look photo-realistic. Wow, we sure have come a long way from those polygonal droopers in God of War, amirite? "WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT -- THOSE THINGS WERE...
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Alien bacteria? Possibly. Noodle puking noodles? Probably. A NASA scientist who's dreamed of having sex with aliens since adolescence claims he's found FOSSILIZED ALIEN BACTERIA in a rare form of meteorite. This discovery may or may yes lend credit to the Scientologist belief that meteorites are Xenu's sperm, raining life down on planets like pissing off a highrise. Admittedly, I don't actually know if they believe that or not,...
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The Arvo brothers made a pretty good looking Iron Man in anticipation of the upcoming film. As you can see by the picture it's, uh, Iron Man made out of LEGO blocks. He seemed to have gotten all the colors right and everything. Good job, but why does he have to be so sad looking? Shouldn't he be posed punching through a brick wall or humping a bulldozer? Instead...
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Mike Yoder, a man who loves both LEGO and Aliens made a bunch of LEGO dioramas from scenes in the movie. They look pretty freaking good if you ask me, so props to Mike, especially for the lighting, etc. that give the pictures that movie feel. He's really inspired me to make a few LEGO dioramas of my favorite movies. Which will be a lot simpler. I'm basically just...
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I can't think "diorama" without thinking "diarrhea", but that's probably just the 7-11 breakfast burrito talking. *BRAP!* Okay now that definitely was. "What'd it say?" Ha, what'd it say -- you're sick. It said, "I'mma set a new record for the GW Mouth to Ass marathon." But I digest, this is a super impressive Batman LEGO diorama built by Flickr user Orion Pax. Always felt like doing something with...
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You know how they say that couples that are together for a long time start to look like one another? I know, I thought that was an old wive's tale too (old wives talk about the craziest shit!). Anyway, with this concept in mind, an upcoming online dating service (findyourfacemate.com -- launching later this month) plans to match couples that look alike. Because, let's face it: nothin' beats making...
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Because sadness knows no bounds, Cloudgirlfriend.com is allegedly a real website launching soon that will create fake-ass Facebook girlfriends for dudes so they can interact with them and, I dunno -- feel even worse about themselves? Make other girls jealous? Listen guys -- if you honestly have a fake Facebook girlfriend to make other girls jealous, congratulations: it's only working on your mom. I assume this is going to...
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SPOILER: Burnt Hogwarts. Because everyone's beating their wienerly wands into a frenzy about the final Harry Potter film being released this week, here's the Charm City (of 'Ace of Cakes' fame) commissioned Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry cake made for the NYC premiere. Unfortunately, they made almost an identical cake back in 2008 for the release of Order of the Phoenix, so that's a -4 for originality. No...
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Fett there be light! Get it?! Because I'm afraid of the Dark Side. This is stained glass lamp (not a smoking pipe) of Boba Fett's helmet made by DeviantARTist mclanesmemories (Michael McLane). Personally, I think it's amazing, but I'm also a sucker for stained glass. You know why? Because I like to lick the lead strips they use to hold the pieces together. It's what makes me special. "You...
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This is an ultra-realistic bust of Grand Moff Tarkin from the first Star Wars movie lovingly creepycrafted by effects artist/sculptor Jordu Schell. Speaking of Grand Moffs -- I watched an old 70's porno over the weekend. You should've seen the bushes on these dudes -- one guy had to pin his shit back with bobby pins! Grand Moff Tarkin is not to confused with Admiral Motti, who Vader famously...
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A pair of high-school seniors have been suspended and may not be allowed to walk during their graduation ceremony after staging a mock lightsaber duel senior prank between the two of them in the school's cafeteria during lunch (I heard it was pizza day!). Not gonna lie guys, I'm not sure that qualifies as a prank. "So one kid walked in from one side of the lunchroom and another...
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That's gonna feel great in your ass. Apparently tactical pants are a real thing. Personally, I think MacGyver would argue any pair of pants can be tactical with the right tools in your pockets, but what do I know? I'm just an ex-CIA operative a guy who cut a hole in a pair of corduroys to play pocket pool. Per the tactical pants blog (you read correctly), that just...
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Note: That tiny-ass picture looks like complete ass and is by no means the whole graphic, click HERE to see the whole thing, get your learn on, then fight in the comments like big babies. This is an informational graphic comparing and contrasting self-proclaimed Mac and PC people. Me? I don't consider myself either. I like to sit on the fence if you know what I mean. I mean...
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This is a music video made for "Again and Again" by the Birds and the Bees. It's basically a tour of a Mac's operating system. Some of the programs included in the video are: • Capture • iTunes • Microsoft Word • Photo Booth • iChat • Stickies • Photoshop CS3 • iPhoto • Fast User Switching • Mac OSX Zoom Tip • Finder • Spotlight • Quicktime Player...
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This is a Coke billboard in the Philippines touting the company's greenliness. How earth-friendly is Coke besides the billboard? I have no clue. Probably not very. Whenever I have to guess about something like this I always err on the side of "companies really don't give a shit and will only do enough to give the appearance that they do." Hey, I could be wrong though (except there's no...
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This is a video of a little race car game where you try to avoid the sides of the road and other obstacles. It's played on a piece of continually printing paper that randomly generates the road as it goes. Not unlike real driving. HOLY SHIT THAT BIKE JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. The trio coded a game in openFrameworks, titled Receipt Racer, which uses a thermal receipt printer...
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Just writing the title made me pee a little lot. Seen here looking like something I'd think twice before putting in my mouth (but ultimately still would, even if it came off the floor), a "biological vascularized scaffold" upon which human skin can be grown is displayed. *puking chili* Damn, a picture of a scarred arm would have worked too you know! The factory can produce 5,000 penny-sized discs...
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This is an amazing looking series of digital paintings by artist Dave Rapoza of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle characters (sans the actual four turtles). They're amazing. David even has time-lapse videos on his website of him painting some of them, along with a bunch of other Ninja Turtle stuff if you're interested. It's definitely worth a look if you're into turtle power. Me? I'm into ultimate power. *clamping alligator...
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Note: Click HERE for a higher-res shot that does the house more justice. This is a sickly amazing LEGO build by Mike Doyle of an abandoned Victorian house that's been crushed by a tree. And speaking of getting crushed by trees: people who have sex with Ents. TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBER! 5' x 3' x 2' 50k - 60k pieces Black, white, dark and bluish gray, clear trans and black trans colors...
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There are special effects, and then there are special effects by visual effects artist Martin Gamal. His special effects are so special their mom makes them wear a bike helmet at all times. "Jesus, even in the bathtub?!" Ha -- especially in the bathtub. Hit the jump for 12:00 (!!!!11) of UFOs, explosions, dinosaurs and sadness.
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This is a video of a guy showing off the unorthodox wiring job for a garage door opener at a house for sale in Everett, Washington. I don't want to ruin it for you, but it doesn't look up to code. Like, anybody's definition of code. This wouldn't even fly in my neighborhood and I once saw a guy down the street try to plug an extension cord INTO...
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The Robo Vacuum has apparently been out for a while (OLD! YOU SUCK GW!) but I've never seen it before and I try to keep abreast (also: abooty) of robotic products so I can assess their danger level and assign an appropriate color-code. These $15 suck-bots are a pink with little white stripes. What? I'M FANCY! This little Robot Vacuum will never get tired cleaning up your messes. Simply...
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SMART KITTY IS SMART. Also, probably gonna run away. Tired of bein' all stupid? Ditto. My brain's sloopy as a mofro. But now a group of Australian scientists claim to have developed a thinking cap that allows users to utilize more of the right half of their brain and think more creatively. Yeah, plus it works by electric shock. Smell that? Burning pubes. Haha, what do you mean 'wrong...
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You know how they say that couples that are together for a long time start to look like one another? I know, I thought that was an old wive's tale too (old wives talk about the craziest shit!). Anyway, with this concept in mind, an upcoming online dating service (findyourfacemate.com -- launching later this month) plans to match couples that look alike. Because, let's face it: nothin' beats making...
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This is a patent from 1963 for a device that's supposed to make birthing easier by practically shooting babies out of vaginas with the helpful hand of centrifugal force. Basically a woman is strapped into this thing, it starts spinning like mad, and she projectile vomits for a while until PRESTO! a baby comes flying out like a circus clown out of a cannon. Thankfully, the newborn is caught...
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No clue, but it definitely helps me get lost as f*** and have to open my map every ten seconds to make sure I'm going the right way. *ahem* Fallout: New Vegas! According to an iffy study by the Groningen Mental Enhancement Department (WTF?) in the Netherlands, smoking the marijuanas helped Alzheimer's patients score better in memory retention when playing challenging video games. What didn't help: unplugging the console...
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Scientists in Japan recently made the world's smallest ramen bowl, with a diameter of only 1/25,000 of an inch. Which, in scientific terminology, makes it invisible except to superheros that got shafted in the cool powers department (unless they can also see through walls, in which case boobs, sweet). The bowl was carved entirely out of nanotubes and was entered in a recent microphotography contest. Now as someone who...
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Two researchers are developing an algorithm designed specifically to 'de-pixelize' 8-bit (and 16-bit) video game graphics in real-time into smoother, more flowing ones. This. changes. everything. No, no it doesn't -- but it does change the amount of time I'll spend playing NES games on an emulator while I'm supposed to be working. *checks to make sure Spy Hunter is still paused in the background* What? I just made...
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Infra-red satellite imaging of Egypt has revealed a buried city near San El Hagar with over 17 pyramids, 1,000 tombs and 3,000 other buildings. It's the ancient city of Tanis, and it's where the Ark of the Covenant is buried (provided you believe Raiders of the Lost Ark, but not past the point where Indy actually finds it, the Nazi's get all f***ed up after opening it, and it...
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Remember the Street Fighter IV ultra combos video from a couple weeks ago? Pretty awesome, right? Yeah, TOO BAD IT WAS A TOTAL SAUSAGE LUNCHEON. So to make up for all the man-meat, the creators decided to shoot another video featuring ladies bringing the pain to a bunch of goofuses. How these dudes even got in the Street Fighting league is beyond me, but I suspect it has something...
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This is a video of some guy recreating all the sounds from three rounds of Street Fighter II by mouth and making some of the most ridiculous faces I've ever seen in six of my lives (I'm a cat). Unfortunately, it's all *meow* Ken vs. Blanka, so if you were hoping to hear any other characters' moves besides theirs you can forget about it. Also, that you saw me...
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This is a video of a couple guys performing their own ultra-combos from Street Fighter IV in real life. If you've never played Street Fighter IV you might have a harder time appreciating the video, but it's still worth a watch nonetheless. Also: putting a bar of soap in the microwave. "Nice try, GW, but cleaning is a woman's job!" Really? *looking around your partment* You've never had one...
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I'm mixing two different space-related news stories together for this post. Think of it as combining ingredients to bake something, except, instead of a cake, we wind up with a jumbled mess of WTF. Tasty! First, a "nearby" habitable planet: A red dwarf star 20 light-years away is again providing hints that it hosts the first definitively habitable planet outside our Solar System. The planet Gliese 581d is at...
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Pfft -- do those pants LOOK square to you? A new mushroom that "lives in the rain forest, under a tree" *puts gun in mouth* was recently discovered in Borneo and scientists have decided to name it after Spongebob Squarepants because of its similarity to the perpetually high sea-sponge. I dunno, I would have named it LOOOOOOOOFAH. Shaped like a sea sponge, the bright orange (and sometimes purple) mushroom,...
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Note: Trying to follow that tiny-ass picture will only end with you throwing up your arms, yelling 'screw it all!' and watching porn. Click HERE for the full-size, legible version. If you're anything like me, you're a terrible decision maker. And not just because you find it hard to make decisions, but you always make the most terrible ones. Thankfully, SFSignal created this handy (no, not like an HJ)...
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Where was I in '72? Not even born yet, let alone staring at a bunch of jungle bush! Playboy has just announced the roll-out (like Transformers! NOT like fruit snacks -- those roll up. Plus some gush!) of iPlayboy, a subscription service optimized for iPad viewing that grants a user access to every issue of Playboy ever published in its 57-year history (over 130,000 pages!). I imagine it was...
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So apparently ♫ Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nickelodeon ♫ is rolling out a new TMNT cartoon next year and this is the first look of the re-imagined turtles. As you can see, they have some of the stupidest-looking anime eyes I've ever seen. And that's saying a lot, because one time in middle school I cut my eye with the cover of a comic (I...
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Sarah White is a 24-year old therapist who practices 'naked therapy', or the act of getting butt-ass naked while you cry about the time your dad called you a loser. Iffy? Absolutely. Better than the guy who tries to hypnotize me and touch my privates? Maaaaaybe. White begins her sessions with her clothes on. But as the hour-long appointments heat up, she gradually sheds all of her duds until...
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Smooth move Cyclops, now the building's on fire. Because what good is science if we can't all shoot lasers out of our eyeballs and take staring contests to a whole new level, researchers have successfully spliced jellyfish DNA into human cells, allowing them to produce biological lasers. It's gonna be like a giant game of Asteroids happening inside you! All it takes to make a laser is something that...
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A pair of high-school seniors have been suspended and may not be allowed to walk during their graduation ceremony after staging a mock lightsaber duel senior prank between the two of them in the school's cafeteria during lunch (I heard it was pizza day!). Not gonna lie guys, I'm not sure that qualifies as a prank. "So one kid walked in from one side of the lunchroom and another...
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Seen here looking suspiciously like krazy straws, lab-grown urethras created from patients' own bladder cells have been successful transplanted and functioning properly. Please note: this doesn't mean you should go act all loosey-goosey with your wiener-tube. It's probably still better to keep the original. From these samples, the scientists isolated the cells they would need to grow the new structure that expels urine from the bladder. These cells, needed...
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The Gunbrella is a real £10.99 (~$18) product that looks like one of those pop-guns with the flag that comes out that the Joker would point at Batman. Except it's an umbrella. But it does have an auto-open "trigger" so you can still aim it at people and scare them. Just not me, because I WILL wrestle it from you and jam it up your ass. Then pull the...
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The UFOCap is a hands-free umbrella that makes you look like a giant condom. The thing looks so ridiculous that the majority of people in the advertisement refused to wear them. Currently only available in Korea, they probably won't make it much further. I still want one though. No, I take that back, I'm saving myself for a Nubrella. And for marriage. Otherwise Santa might fill my stocking with...
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The Nubrella is a $60 hands-free umbrella. If you can't tell from the pictures it's fairly ridiculous looking. Now I've never been one to really care what I look like, particularly out in the elements, but I still don't think I could bring myself to don a Nubrella. Nubrella is no ordinary umbrella, it stops rain, wind, snow and extreme cold- and keeps your head, face and shoulders drier...
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Fett there be light! Get it?! Because I'm afraid of the Dark Side. This is stained glass lamp (not a smoking pipe) of Boba Fett's helmet made by DeviantARTist mclanesmemories (Michael McLane). Personally, I think it's amazing, but I'm also a sucker for stained glass. You know why? Because I like to lick the lead strips they use to hold the pieces together. It's what makes me special. "You...
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I know a guy that'd give you $1 to sniff that pit. This is a parody of that annoyingly get stuck in your head song 'Like a G6'. Except this one's all about D&D and not a twin-engine business aircraft. As you can see from the screenshots, there's a chick involved so all dudes are obligated to watch it. Then comment in the comments about how you'd do her/not...
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Here's another song from Youtube user meekakitty (meekakitty? youkakitty!), best known for that Star Trek song she did. This one is a Zelda-themed love song sung by Navi for Link. At first glance the song might appear 5:30 long, but it's actually only 3:00, with 2:30 of the girl blathering afterward in case you want to have your nerd boner shattered into a million pieces. So yeah, stop at...
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Seen here beckoning your wiener to an untimely dismemberment, robotic dental patient Showa Hanako 2 (Showa Hanako 1 here) opens wide for the camera. Now quick -- toss a stick of dynamite in there and duck behind the x-ray shield! ...this humanoid was originally developed last year as a tool for dentists looking to practice new procedures. Now, engineers at Japan's Showa University have updated their dental denizen, adding...
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Can you tell who doesn't belong? SPOILER: The lion, sicko. Apparently "lookist" dating website BeautifulPeople.com was recently hacked, and accepted over 30,000 busted-ass, booboo looking people over the course of six weeks because its rating system was jeopardized. Per company director Dan Hodge, who looks LIKE THIS and probably shouldn't be a member (unless member = dick, in which case, yes, he is one): "We responded immediately, repairing the...
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Awh snap son -- is that peridot? August birthdays FTW! A New Orleans man was accidentally shot in the mouth (I suspect a pistol-whip gone wrong) by his brother after smoking his weed without asking (which, admittedly, is a pistol-whip worthy offense), but the bullet ricocheted off a gold tooth, leaving the man virtually unscathed. *trying to melt a roll of tin-foil in the microwave* The victim was sitting...
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The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword drops later this year and I'll be dragging my Wii out of the back of my closet to play it. Theeeeeeen I'll probably sell it on eBay after signing it 'Miyamoto' in Sharpie because I'm a dirty swindler. Anyway, this is some of composer Koji Kondo's music for the game played forwards, then, at the 1:00 mark, played backwards. Sound familiar? SPOILER: It's...
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This is a video from the same makers as the 'If God of War was a Wes Anderson Movie' and ' " target="_blank">Inglourious Plummers' flicks. It's the story of Link and Zelda as told as an 80's coming of age film (The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Say Anything, etc.). Admittedly, it was pretty well made and they even roughed up the footage to give it that "holy...
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This is a video from November of UC Berkeley's marching band doing a Nintendo inspired half time show. I would have posted it early, but honestly, UC Berkeley didn't accept me and I hold grudges. And for the record -- filling out a college application in crayon shows creativity, damnit. And the coloring book page I included proved that, while creative, I can still color within the lines when...
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This is the game cover for Portal Kombat, a game that only exists in 'a Youtube video of the fatalities' form (video after the jump). Still, it's better than nothing. It's also better than getting hit by a car in a grocery store parking lot, so you should really be thanking your lucky stars right now. Also after the jump: a worthwhile shot of a Portal captured in real...
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Because these things have been pouring in like piss and toilet paper remnants out of a clogged commode, here's four different Mortal Kombat-related videos, in this order: 1. The first installment in series of live-action 'Mortal Kombat: Legacy' shorts. 2. Rejected Mortal Kombat characters (Pac-Man, Link, Toad) and their fatalities. 3. Some sexy Mortal Kombat Mileena cosplay because I'm not gay. 4. Some sexy Mortal Kombat Kitana cosplay to...
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Developers of the new Mortal Kombat have revealed the newest edition to the franchise will include difficult-to-execute 'x-ray' moves, in which a character brutalizes another and the internal destruction is actually shown. *getting light-headed* What?! Like you've never seen a blogger write with a trashbag tied over his head! "It's definitely the most brutal attack that we've ever had in a Mortal Kombat and it's something that we're very...
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Tuesday, January 28, 1986. I was only four at the time and didn't watch the launch on live TV like so many others, but I do remember learning about it soon after and the profound effect it had me as an aspiring astronaut. We live, we die, we learn. In remembrance of (clockwise from back left) Ellison Onizuka, Christa McAuliffe, Gregory Jarvis, Judith Resnik, Ronald McNair, Dick Scobee and...
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Well folks, that was that. When Atlantis reached for the stars this morning at 11:29 EST, it marked the last launch of NASA's 30-year shuttle program. *tearing open a freeze-dried ice cream in remembrance* The breathtaking final launch of the space shuttle Atlantis was captured in an incredible photo snapped from an airborne training aircraft NASA uses to teach astronauts how to fly the winged spaceship [but will now...
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Briefly. Seen here in OMGWTFBBQ vision under a scanning electron micrograph, a water-bear creeps me the f*** out. Go die with your alien-lookin' ass! And speaking of aliens -- water bears can survive in space. Like, that's how tough they are. Me? I once broke a bottle over my head and only passed out briefly. In 2007, a little known creature called a tardigrade [AKA water bear] became the...
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Lyndon Baty has polycystic kidney disease, leaving him with "virtually no immune system". FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. For the last year, he's been unable to have any social contact with friends and peers (besides Faceybooks). But now, thanks to a robotic "avatar" on wheels, he attends high-school with the rest of the kids his age. "Dammit GW, please don't give the robot a wedgie." UGH -- I WASN'T GOING TO. The technology,...
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This is the Guinness Record holder for the world's smallest ad (yes, apparently there's a category for that), commissioned by Gillette and etched onto a beard hair (or is it a pube?) using an electron microscope and ionic blaster. The entire thing is only 100-microns across. How big are microns? Giant compared to yourcrons! Get it?! Me neither, but I'm still considering it a successful burn. *clips on sunglasses*...
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25-year old Rob Summers, formally a successful college pitcher, was left paralyzed from the waist down after a hit-and-run incident four years ago. And now, thanks to an experimental new form of therapy, has been able to take the second first steps of his life. What we've really discovered is the neurons in the spinal cord can do all the same things as the nerves in the brain," says...
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In an attempt to win friends and influence people sell more bacon, egg & cheese biscuits, Caribou coffee shops had these bus stop oven ads placed around Minneapolis. You see, they're heated. Aaaaaaaand probably overflowing with homeless people by now. Just a heads up, Caribou: do not, I repeat, DO NOT remove the ads before spring comes or you can expect every last one of your coffee shops to...
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This is a Volkswagen Golf print ad that appeared in South African copies of Auto Trader magazine that's actually edible. It was accompanied by the line 'Eat the Road. Seriously, Eat It' and was made from "glutinous rice flour, water, salt, propylene glycol, FD&C colour, glycerine." What, no artificial flavor?! Please tell me it at least smelled like new car and gasoline. Clever effort, VW, so I almost hate...
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This is a small series of brand logos re-imagined to include elements from Star Wars, all created by graphic artist Barn Bocock (not to be confused with Silo Katanacock, who can harvest corn with his razor-sharp wiener). This is Nike and Puma here, but hit the jump for Reebok, Adidas, Burger King, Pizza Hut and some credit card ones. Then, hit yourself in the crotch as hard as you...
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Seen here unsuccessfully trying to throw a hadouken (stop stealing moves!), Link dances his way to Zelda's heart in the original Japanese commercial for A Link to the Past. But that's not what I came here to talk about (although I did still embed the video after the jump if you've never seen it), I came to talk about dubstep remixes (NOT metal ones, although those are wicked pissah...
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This is a small series of Mario characters as X-Mens. This is Mario and Princess here, but there's Luigi & Yoshi, the Kongs, and some Toads after the jump. They were all created by DeviantARTist basicnoir (aka Casey Edwards) and don't make very good fap material. What? I made my roommate try! Back me up, Derek. "The one with the two Kongs ftw." LOLWUT?! Hit the jump for the...
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'Outside Aperture' is a 8-minute Portal fan film. It's really good. Like the muffins my elderly neighbor used to bake and bring over before I found out she made them with kitty litter (I thought they were pistachio bits!). I don't really want to ruin anything for you, so just hit the jump and watch it. Oh -- and nobody cares if you think Chell's hot and you'd do...
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How cute is that? "Super cute." And this picture of a sleepy kitten on top of a sleepy puppy? "Also cute." Aaaaaaaaand what about this? "WHAT THE F*** IS THAT?!" Haha, that's a picture I found online of a rash that closest resembles mine. Well -- what's your professional opinion? "Looks like Mars but..." But on a ballsack?! Because that's exactly what it feels like too. Engage! The Star...
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Seen here about to learn the hard way that kitty kisses are only for people who like the taste of cat ass, Data spends a tender moment with his cat Spot. And this is rap about Spot set to Dr. Dre's 'Next Episode', as edited by Dan Bull from a poem Data recites in the season six Next Generation episode, 'Schisms'. I was so inspired I just wrote one...
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...in Aqaba, Jordan, so a road-trip is probably out of the question. Still, maybe you could take a spaceship. Get it? Like they do in Star Trek! "Great tie-in, GW." Thanks, I've been cooking that one up all weekend. Jk jk, but I did come up with it when I hit my head on the towel bar getting off the john a couple minutes ago. Plus the flux capacitor!...
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This is a video of some guy recreating all the sounds from three rounds of Street Fighter II by mouth and making some of the most ridiculous faces I've ever seen in six of my lives (I'm a cat). Unfortunately, it's all *meow* Ken vs. Blanka, so if you were hoping to hear any other characters' moves besides theirs you can forget about it. Also, that you saw me...
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Remember the Street Fighter IV ultra combos video from a couple weeks ago? Pretty awesome, right? Yeah, TOO BAD IT WAS A TOTAL SAUSAGE LUNCHEON. So to make up for all the man-meat, the creators decided to shoot another video featuring ladies bringing the pain to a bunch of goofuses. How these dudes even got in the Street Fighting league is beyond me, but I suspect it has something...
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Seen here reminding us why it's always a good idea to wear like six condoms, a violent child rages out and threatens to stab his own knee after playing violent video games. You know, or maybe he's posing because somebody told him to. Whatever the case, his face is pissing me off. But California can't ban the sale of violent video games to him! On a 7-2 vote, the...
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This is a lil robot that looks like a beer can until it sprouts tripod legs and starts dancing around on the table (NOT like a sessy table dance -- if you're hoping for a sessy table dance don't even bother watching because you're gonna be disappointed). I assume it opted to disguise itself as a beer can with the hopes of tricking unsuspecting drunks into picking it up...
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Yes, that is under-boob. Seen here SITTING ON A F***IN' TANK WITH A CANNON BETWEEN HER LEGS (possibly two!), Chelsea Charms (not to be confused with Lucky Charms, which have way fewer artificial ingredients) shows off her 'world's largest' 164XXX sized mammaries. Pfft,that's not even a real size. Real disgusting, yes. Chelsea did admit to Pip and Ruth Langsford that she does struggle, particularly squeezing into aeroplane toilets. She...
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Seen here looking suspiciously like Punch-Out's Little Mac taking a fall, Australian structural engineer Kris Tressider decided to build himself a real-life Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot. Possibly to show off his robot-building ingenuity, but probably because he doesn't have any friends to play with. God, maybe if you weren't so weird! It may be powered by windshield wiper motors [NO WONDER IT JUST GOT SO HARD TO DRIVE...
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8-Bit Interview is a minute and a half of video game characters applying for a job. It's hit-n-miss, but I'd still hire the following: Link, Peppy and Solid Snake. The rest I would not only NOT hire, but sue for sexual harassment. "Geez GW, remind me to never work for you." *flailing* MY BUTT THAT GUY JUST TOUCHED MY BUTT! Hit the jump for the video. THERE -- HE...
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These are functional light switches made with arcade buttons (NOT belly buttons, which I would never use even if it meant stumbling around in the dark and stubbing all my toes off). Etsy seller AlephDesign is selling them for $30, but you do get to choose the colors. PINK AND BROWN. Alternatively, you could save yourself ~$20 and make your own. Granted you never will, but that's because you're...
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Two researchers are developing an algorithm designed specifically to 'de-pixelize' 8-bit (and 16-bit) video game graphics in real-time into smoother, more flowing ones. This. changes. everything. No, no it doesn't -- but it does change the amount of time I'll spend playing NES games on an emulator while I'm supposed to be working. *checks to make sure Spy Hunter is still paused in the background* What? I just made...
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Note: Click HERE for a larger version that's so awesome your retinas will melt and eyes explode. *POP!....POP!* There went mine! This is the most amazing Zelda-themed painting I've ever seen in my entire life and I've seen a lot because sometimes I type 'zelda painting' into Google and look at everything that comes up because I'M F***ING SICK LIKE THAT AND HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN GETTING BETTER. It...
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That's right folks, today, February 21st, 2011 marks the 25th anniversary of everybody's favorite video game franchise. "Not mine, I hate those games." OH YEAH WELL I HATE YOUR FACE SO THERE. Such a f***ing Ganon. Including the original game's release on the Famicom Disk System in 1986 (for which it was a launch title), a total of 14 unique and "proper" Zelda games (excluding re-releases) have been published...
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Minecraft player Mike520 (who's an hour late to the stoner party) has gone and created a 10+ hour playable Zelda adventure in the world of Minecraft. It's called Zelda Adventure and features 8 dungeons, 20 different functional weapons, cinematic cutscenes, shops, collectables, secret areas and more. It's also about to feature me whippin' some baddie ass as soon as my download finishes. *whistling* 56.6k modems, amirite? "Tell me you're...
