That Looks...Better Than Half The Stuff In Theaters: A Gorilla With A Video Camera

Time for my closeup!

I swear, actors: so vain. This is a video created by giving a gorilla a video camera in a special Kong-proof box. It's very similar in style to the BBC's Chimpcam series, except instead of chimps it's gorillas. I swear, somebody comes up with one good idea and everyone runs with it. Hey, that's what makes the world go round though, amirite? Kidding, I think it's magnets or something.

Hit the jump for a minute and a half of suck it, Michael Bay -- your ass shouldn't be directing anything but traffic!

Continue reading →

Impressive Toy War Between Father And Son

If you haven't already seen it (and even if you have seen it that doesn't actually change what it is), this is a video of a father and son locked in an epic toy battle, complete with special effects AND sound effects. It's pretty cute and definitely worth a watch. Now I can't actually remember being five years old anymore, but in my mind this is exactly how I pretend-played with my toys. In reality though it was probably much, MUCH sadder. Just sayin', an imagination only goes so far when your coolest toy is a stick with a face painted on it. Isn't that right, Branchy? BRANCHY? There you ar-- OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?! It looks...chewed. "I was playing fetch with the dog." Dammit, what did I tell you about that?! "He licks his butthole with that mouth." And? "And I was just in it." Exactly -- now go wash up, we're playing space-rangers this afternoon.

Hit the jump for a worthwhile two minutes.

Continue reading →

Netflix Movie Rental Favorites By State

Note: Don't damage your peepers squinting, click HERE to see the map in its full-res glory, GLORY HALLELUUUUUUJAH!

Well with Netflix basically doubling the charge for having access to both DVD + streaming movies, what better way to celebrate the kick in the ass (they were actually aiming for your wallet) than a look at Netflix's 'Local Movie Favorites' by state? "Screw it, I'm going back to pirating movies illegally!" Haha -- now you're talking. Unfortunately, you're talking on an old telephone with a piece of glass between us. *mashing tits against window* THEY LONG FOR YOUR GENTLE CARESS.

US Netflix Local Faves [slacktory]
via
Check Out the 'United States of Netflix Local Favorites' Map [nymag]

Thanks to chichi, who claims she doesn't care what she's watching just as long as it's under a blanket with her man. *sigh* So romantic.

Looks Accurate: 'Up' House Built In Real Life

I've never seen 'Up'. I heard it was depressing in the beginning and I have a problem watching depressing stuff because I get down easily. Then stay there. Truthfully, I've never been able to pick myself back up after watching Atreyu lose Artax to the Swamp of Sadness in 'The Neverending Story' (links to you crying your f***ing eyeballs out for the rest of the day -- watch at your own risk, toughguy).

Bangerter Homes, the developer, sought out permission from Disney before building the 2,800 square foot Up! House replica (I'm actually amazed that they got the go ahead) and just recently finished the exterior. The interior still needs some work but they'll be following the movie's blueprints, if you saw it in the movie, you'll probably see it in this house. The developers are being mindful of every little detail--the weathervane, the garden hose, everything.

The house, located in Herriman, Utah, has an asking price of $400,000 and will open up for tours on July 29th to August 14th

The 'Up' house aside, WHYTF did I just watch that Artax video again? My whole day is pretty much shot now. I'd expect four REALLY depressing articles after this one if I were you. Knock knock. "Who's there?" God I just want to sleep forever.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots of detail reproduction and a video news report.

Continue reading →

Of Course There Is: A Harry Potter Corn Maze

I AM THE GREAT ORK MA, BOW DOWN BEFORE MY SULTRY GAZE.

This is a Harry Potter corn maze in York, England (hence the y'ORK MA'ze) made to celebrate the release of the final film in the series. Some people celebrate by dressing up as their favorite character and going to see a midnight showing, other people by making corn mazes. Hey -- to each their own. Except me. I want all of my own AND part of yours. Granted some might call me greedy, but those are just people I've stolen from that want their shit back.

Hit the jump for a shot of the whole maze.

Continue reading →

Holy Home Sweet Home, Batman!: An Ultra-Impressive Batman LEGO Diorama

I can't think "diorama" without thinking "diarrhea", but that's probably just the 7-11 breakfast burrito talking. *BRAP!* Okay now that definitely was. "What'd it say?" Ha, what'd it say -- you're sick. It said, "I'mma set a new record for the GW Mouth to Ass marathon." But I digest, this is a super impressive Batman LEGO diorama built by Flickr user Orion Pax.

Always felt like doing something with all the collected Batman stuff.

So i did.
Approximatly 8000 - 9000 parts been terminated to build the cave.

68 bricks in height.
The base is 40 x 40 studs.

The Batman figure is again scaled up with Woody´s legs and arms painted black.

In the back there is a neon lamp to light up the cave.

Took me about a week to get this done.

Good lookin', Orion. No word if there's a secret sex dungeon somewhere, but if I had to guess I'd say Robin has his little bathole-tickling fingers crossed.

Hit the jump for some detail shots, but be sure to check out Orion's Flickr for some nice high-res versions and a ton of other builds (INCLUDING A MONKEY ISLAND ONE!!!1).

Continue reading →

You'll Never Woo Me!: Robot Mouth Can "Sing"

Seen here looking way too much like a gaping b-hole to not be made out of a pig's rectum (just like hotdogs!), a robotic mouth (NOT armpit) developed at Kagawa University in (you'll never guess!) Japan belts out a ditty for the camera. It's the latest incarnation of this same robot mentioned last year, it just sings now. And I'm using the term "sings" very, VERY loosely. *ahem* Ke$ha/Katy Perry/Justin Beiber/etc. etc. I've heard dog farts with more talent, girls.

It's based as closely as possible on a human mouth, complete with an air pump for lungs, eight fake vocal cords, a silicon tongue, and even a nasal resonance cavity that opens and closes. Using a microphone, the mouth can listen to itself speak (or whatever you want to call it) and analyze what it hears to try to figure out how to be more understandable and less, you know, borderline nightmarish.

Oh man, you know what's even better than a robotic mouth that can sing? ONE THAT SHUTS THE F*** UP AND DIES ALREADY, AMIRITE GUYS?! Anything. I'd rather be towed behind a car on bare buttcheeks by the wiener, that's how serious I am.

Hit the jump for two videos, the first of the mouth making your ears bleed (read: a Billboard Top 40 waiting to happen), the second of a guy talking about the technology.

Continue reading →

Fail: Cookie Monster Cupcakes Gone Wrong

You see the top picture? Those are examples of Cookie Monster cupcakes made by a professional (possibly in your local grocer's bakery!). You see the bottom picture? Those are examples of Cookie Monster cupcakes made by yo momma! somebody who doesn't understand you can't apply icing right when they come out of the oven. Or, who knows, maybe they're sick and were going for darker, evil-er Cookie Monsters. *shivers thinking about darker versions of Sesame Street street characters* IT'S EVERY KID FOR HIMSELF -- OSCAR JUST STABBED THE MAILMAN WITH A DIRTY NEEDLE!

Picture

Thanks to Michal, who said he'd eat them anyways because some of the best things he's ever tasted looked like shit. Mmmm, love me some no-bake cookies!